a new phase

The day I finished writing my book - November 12th, 2024 - I went to Staples to print it, got it spiral bound to make it look officially done, and splurged on the laminated cover.  It was the eve of the three year anniversary of The Love Offensive and I was absolutely fucking elated.  That same day, at 11am, I had a mammogram and was told there were areas of concern in both of my breasts.  After months of doctor visits, multiple biopsies, ultrasounds, and an MRI, I am here: January 28th, 2025 the day of my bilateral mastectomy.

I have chosen this aggressive response to a stage one breast cancer diagnosis because I will read the phrase ‘invasive ductal carcinoma’ exactly never again.  I understand that this surgery does not guarantee a clean bill of health, but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make to get closer to a cancer-free life.  I'll do whatever it takes to have many more years laughing with my friends, being outside with my pups, freezing time with photography, and helping other people know their inherent strength and goodness through yoga. I know you know how grateful I am to be alive, and never in my life have I been so terrified, so humbled, or so hopeful.

My hope for this diagnosis is that I will emerge stronger, more grateful, and more focused on experiencing everything I can while I am still here on earth.  I will see to it that this crisis is the best thing that's ever happened to me because I won’t be able to stomach it any other way.

I used to say my gravestone will read:

Here lies Tara Morris…might’ve overdone it

but we're about to go into overdrive.  I know the love and growth that will emerge because I have gone through this will produce a reality beyond my wildest dreams.

Also, I’ll obviously never have a gravestone, but you get the point.

The surgery is at Women & Infants Hospital in Providence, RI and I’m told it will last about 5 hours.  There will be two surgeons: an oncologist, Dr. Stephanie Ng, who is an 8-month pregnant utter bad ass, and a plastic surgeon, Dr. Brian Temple, who is smart and talented and kind.   When he and I met I told him that I wanted my new boobs to be triple Ds.  I waited long enough for it to be awkward and then was like naaaI’mjustfuckinwithyou, and we laughed.

My oldest and best friends are here with me.  Kristen (Backofen) Lasky who moved next door to me when we were three-years-old flew in to be by my side for the next week. Kendra (Hugues) Pope is on her way to Providence to make sure I'm surrounded with her love when I need it the most, and Kate (Settino) Skypeck has never left my side and this week will be no exception. Sara (Gunderson) Donahue arrives this weekend bringing a feast.   The rest of the friend-fueled love fest will be my sister, Shannon, her husband Mike, and My Crew: the incredible women and men I call my best friends. I have my food needs organized between five of my friends who are great cooks, and I have so many nurses and doctors whom I call dear friends that I feel confident in my care.  I am already reaping the benefits of a life spent dedicating all my energy and all my love to my friends.  I feel very lucky to have the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

Luciana Witowski, once a yoga student of mine in Boston and now one of my dearest friends, will be subbing all of my classes until March 1st.  The rest of the insanely talented and generous TLO staff will jump in to sub after that, if needed.  The Love Offensive staff is magical and talented, and I am blown away at how lucky I am to work with them and call them my friends.

I believe my recovery time will be 4-6 weeks which is just a blink of an eye.  I will need a second surgery in the spring to put permanent (gigantic!) implants in which will require another couple of weeks of recovery time.  All of these timelines are guesses and I'll keep you informed as soon as I have more information.  Expect to hear from me again in mid February.

I turn 50-years-old on May 25th and I'm really looking forward to that date so I can celebrate so much with the people who give my life depth and meaning.  When I imagine the celebration it gives me hope and inspiration.

I’ll end this entry with a final thought. This is the last paragraph of the intro page to my book.  It’s freakishly timely though I wrote it in September in Maine:

Last hurrah
 

Pardon this photo.  No no, justkidding don’t pardon it AT ALL.   This photograph was taken by Angelica Glass when I was 37-years-old.   I hired her, rented a room at The W in Union Square in Manhattan, got my hair and makeup done, took off my clothes and had a boudoir shoot for NO FUCKING REASON.  (Though it did really help my online dating stats for three whole years, but it was mostly for me).  Wanna know how much I regret spending all that money and having the audacity to feel gorgeous for like once in my life?  Not at all. When Angelica walked out the door after the shoot I remember thinking, ‘if I wasn’t already a professional photographer I’d  become one right this second.’  Never in my life had I felt so beautiful and I’m so stoked that I have spent the last 20 years making other people feel this way.

I have flashed my boobs to make people laugh (and ask me out) since I was 24-years-old.  Looks like these boobs are requesting early retirement as we enter our 50s - they’re ready to go to pathology - though I figured they wouldn’t mind one more moment of glory in this newsletter.  YOLO.  Like, for real.    

If you'd like to help

I know friends want to help each other in times like this, that’s how we do.  I was advised by many of my dearest friends to let y'all know how you can help so here goes...

This is obvious, but you absolutely do not need to do anything. I’m not expecting any more help than I already have and I will thrive no matter what.  But if you want to help me in this time I would be so insanely grateful.  I can tell you that I’m very nervous about the enormous medical bills I’m responsible for along with the many weeks off of work so….

The #1 way you can help me is to sign up for my April or October retreat in Vermont this year.  The links are on my homepage and they are also right here:

These retreats are absolutely transformational and require full hearts and full bravery and full participation.  Please sign up only if you’re totally open to sharing and growing and being part of the love fest.  We cold plunge in a waterfall, walk on fire, do hot power yoga every morning, share great meals, share our dreams, share our hearts, go on a great hike, and 500 other things that will push you to be your best.  I can also absolutely assure you the retreats I will lead after this ordeal will be like no other.   I would love it if both of these retreats were filled with people who have never done these fire walking Vermont retreats before.  I say this because it’s the same retreat every year and it’s full of surprises so it’s a one-time thing.  Please don’t sign up unless you plan on going full-out with me, though, ok?  Are you scared?  Ya, homie. Same.

If you are my annual photography client and want to help you can surely pay for your shoot now via venmo, but you definitely don’t need to. Family photography is $1000.   High school Senior portraits, headshots, and (ahhemm) boudoir shoots are $500.  All the final jpegs are included in these prices, but if you’re my client you already know this.   I’m @taramorris on venmo and my cell is 617-480-3567.  taramorrisimages.com is where you can see my work (boudoir shoots are never posted).

YOU CAN CONTINUE TO TAKE CLASS AT THE STUDIO! We have TRULY built an incredible community at The Love Offensive and it’s up to you to keep that ball in the air while I recover.  Please please please keep coming to class, bring friends, buy class passes, sign up for a monthly unlimited passes, come every friggen day, sell out every friggen class.  Please take my teacher’s classes:  Rebecca, Allison, Jacqueline, Ben, Courtney, Robin, Genipher, Zabi, Mel, and Luciana.   And to all my Boston-area students: Please please please come take a class with me when I return.  It’s been too long. I know it seems like a far distance, but it really isn’t.  I promise I’ll give it my all.

I cannot get mail at the studio. I didn’t check my mailbox for two years so they shut it down. You absolutely do not need to send a damn thing and I’m not expecting anything, but if you’re gonna anyway: 39 Harkness Street, Providence, RI 02909 is my home address.

My absolutely incredible friends, Marissa Davis et al, have set up a GoFundMe campaign on my behalf.  I'm so grateful for Marissa and the other friends who put this together.  Thank you so much, y'all. 

Confidence.  This is the main thing I need.  You can send me a deep knowing that I will make it through this.  I know it’s scary, believe me, but when we’re looking at each other I need your rock solid confidence that I will be ok.   I don’t need you to tell me you’re confident in me.  I need you to know it.

One more day y'all...
On this beautiful planet, 
In this beautiful body, 
With all these beautiful people.

Thank you so much!! I LOVE YOU!